Wow! It's been almost 2 months since my last post. I have been uber busy and very tired.
All the health issues are still there- none resolved yet. School is flying by for the kids. I even added college to my plate. All was successful for my financial aid (even with several bumps in the road along the way) and admission was completed. I am now officially a full-time student, full-time wife and mother, and on call friend (sorry about that one).
It's funny how the less time you have to get things done, the more is added. I feel bad that I have not been calling my friends more often like I used to, but I have been able to go see them in person more often, even with the 35+ mile separation. It doesn't seem to be enough, though. I have a few friends from my old stomping grounds that call me up for their "Bridgette time" or "Bridgette fix." I find it funny that though they are not in the same circles they refer to me in the same way. It's flattering and a good self-esteem booster. Guilt sets in though when I go to see one friend but not the other when they are only a few miles apart. I tell myself that I am just one person and can't do it all in one day (plus my kids are in tow-for play dates with their kids- and they have a threshold, too) and life still awaits at home. I apologize if any of you out there reading this feels I am neglecting our friendship. It's not my intention. I really do try to see everyone.
Life is still in the pre-stabilized stage right now with schedule changes and new activities. I've got priorities down, I just have to find a routine that works efficiently. Suffice it to say that house work has gotten the short end of the stick while the new routine is being figured out. You can't tell that just 2 months ago I spent everyday of 2 weeks deep cleaning 2211ft2. Just days after I finished, there was mud on the walls (still there in some rooms) pizza smashed in the carpet, saltwater taffy spit out and hidden under furniture, milk spilled on the upholstery, blue marker murals on the staircase and upstairs hallway (still there too), and clutter from outdoor projects everywhere! But, hey! I'm staying on track for my college classes!
In one of my classes we are learning about the sociology of the family, mainly how the mother/wife steers the flow of the family function. I am amazed at how much power we as mothers and wives really do have over the direction our families take. There are always the social and economical issues that we cannot change and have to deal with, but we can determine how they will affect our families. Will we let hardships get us down, or will we fight on and prevail? I'd like to think of myself in the latter group. While today's struggles may be of time, keeping an orderly home, or furthering education, the broader picture should still always be in view. Ask yourself, "What do I really want for my family?" "Am I doing what's best for my family?" "Are my families psychological and emotional needs being met?" So many times when we focus on ourselves and our troubles, we forget to keep the whole picture in view. Yes, we need to care for ourselves, but that does not mean that we can ignore everything else.
In my class we are learning about the changing family. People in society are saying left and right that families are in crisis, that values are falling apart. What is to be done? I learned something interesting. Change the question, and you'll find a solution to the problem. "Why are families changing?" Find the reason why, and you can find the answer. At church we know that the answer is the Adversary doing his work to destroy all that is good and holy to God, setting his focus on the sanctity of marriage and families. For people with little or no religious views these answers may come in different forms such as feminism, latch-key/viddy kiddy/day care kids, single parent, or even just a parent who doesn't have it in them to care anymore. There are ideals that we all strive for, but are we willing to do the work to get the reward? In our instant gratification society, traditional ideals are outdated yet frustrating because we can't have them NOW if they are what we want. I love the billboard along the main interstate that says, "BE the change you want to see." We need to be doers. We need to get our cups full now more than ever so we can fight on and persevere with our families at our sides in this troubling world. One drop at a time, one family at a time, we can make our world a better place as long as we DO. Find your ideals. Set goals. Make it happen! Go fill those cups!