Setting Aside Differences

Tonight my family had a huge dinner at our favorite restaurant in celebration of my little sister getting her bachelor's degree. Almost all of the family living in Oregon was there, including our grandparents from Montana who drove here for her special day. While the majority of my family are members of the LDS church, we also have Catholics and undecided religious views as well. There is also a colorful past between many members of the family who attended. I was pleasantly surprised at how well the night went, and that everyone got along for the evening without any arguments or debates. For one night, we all seemed to have a common interest... have a good time as a family to celebrate an accomplishment.

If only everything in life could go as smoothly. Unfortunately there are too many times in life we have to deal with people we don't want to be around or don't agree with their personal views (even at work). While I think it is perfectly reasonable to not be around these people whenever possible and/or choose to avoid them, there are those inevitable times. During these times, to help prevent unwanted confrontations, we need to learn to set aside differences and stop conversations from turning down dangerous paths. An easy way to do this is to simply not bring up whatever it is that causes tension or strain between the 2 (or more) of you. If the other person (or people) bring it up, you can simply state that you have no interest in discussing it at this time, and are here to enjoy yourself or whatever the case may be. If they insist or even attack you, mention that every time this subject is brought up, the end results are always the same and you have no wish to purposefully ruin having a pleasant time. Agree to disagree. I've even told some people to "grow up" because they were acting so childish, but that didn't go very well. There also have been times where I had to stand my ground and tell them to stop, and back off. It takes guts, and sometimes may cause a scene, but it does the message across loud and clear.

I acknowledge that not everyone has an "A" type personality like mine, but I do feel it very essential to every living soul to know how to stand their ground. Even the timid can learn to be forceful. I've seen it. It takes practice and a will. The more we have confidence in ourselves and where we stand in life, whether it be religion or politics, personal values, etc. we can overcome the times when we are challenged. This doesn't necessarily mean we have to wage a war to win either. It means we have the discernment of knowing when it's not worth our effort to fight, and when it is. Sometimes the loudest sound is silence. To not fight back destroys the enemy's plan. Think of the advice parents give kids about bullies- don't give them what they want.

My hope is that we all can have the confidence in ourselves to understand what tactics are needed in the different aspects of our lives and use them appropriately. FILL THAT CUP.