Who Keeps Giving Monkeys All The Wrenches?

Someone needs to find all the tools in the world and keep them away from the pesky monkeys in my life. I understand everything is in the Lord's time, but I would really like things to go my way every once in a while (wishful thinking).

I told my mom it's been hard to think of positive things to blog about these last two weeks, and to not be negative. I've been stressed; my friends have been stressed; my family's been stressed, and no relief in sight (yet). She and one of my brothers said that it's all part of life and to write it in a way that is understanding to those kinds of days. I've done one previously titled "Can I Have A Redo?" Yes, I know it is all part of life. Believe me, my life is not all butterflies and rainbows. I do try my best to be optimistic and find the light at the end of the tunnel.

Like most Americans, finances are tight. I have not worked in over 2 years because of my youngest son who has Cystic Fibrosis. Going back to work is a tricky situation. Part of it is that I am not flexible in my schedule, and my pay scale is higher than what most employers are willing to pay right now. There are many things I have to weigh to even make it worth taking a job. I've prayed about it, and the Lord keeps saying not to worry about going back to work, all will be taken care of. So 6 months ago I decided it was time to go back to school, and MAKE IT HAPPEN!

I have been trying for a couple years now to get back to college. Life kept getting in the way and it would get delayed, again and again. I decided there would be no excuse for this next school year (2010-11) and started the process back in March to register and get financial aid ready. I met with the advisers a few times to make sure I was doing things right and planned out my pre-nursing class schedule for the next two years- as all my previous credits were now expired or invalid. So hopefully I don't have to keep trying to get my previous transcripts transferred. I've tried twice and both times the new college says they never got the files. I did get a massive scholarship application packet completed, along with 2 letters of recommendation, and turned it in at the deadline. I thought I had done everything I needed to for the ball to start rolling.

I've been waiting since April to hear back from the Financial Aid/Scholarships Office for the status of my applications. FAFSA said my application was completed back in mid April, yet the college didn't have the info yet. The review board is still going over the scholarship packets, so no clue where that one is going. I did get one letter stating I was not chosen for that particular grant, but that's the only response so far.

I got a letter a few days ago, followed by an email today stating that my college application has been put on hold. I called today to find out why. Apparently I had to do an online orientation and do the placement testing ASAP before they can finish my enrollment and financial aid paperwork. So I did the orientation online today (which was boring and didn't learn anything I didn't already know) and I will go do my testing tomorrow. I called the Financial Aid Office again to check on the FAFSA status, and they still haven't received it. They are up to applications processed by April 5, 2010, and said it can take an additional 16 weeks after they receive it from the government before they complete their end of it! My date was April 19, so who knows how much longer I am going to have to wait. I can't go if I don't have funding. Arrgh.

I know eventually it will happen-I MUST HAVE PATIENCE. I have noticed as I have gotten older that my patience wears thinner. I know I need to work on that topic a lot. I know we all have those days/weeks/months/years where we just feel so disconnected from where we need to be, and feeling continually set back no matter what we do, or even a lack the motivation to get there. But there is hope. Keeping our eyes focused on the Lord, even when we might be perturbed at Him for not getting our way, will ALWAYS get us through even the toughest of times.

I apologize if this comes off as "me, me, me." I am in the same boat as a lot of you out there, and trying to stay positive with some venting along the way. I will keep moving forward and find the time to fill my cup. I hope you do, too.